Date sent: Wed, 16 Feb 1994 19:25:16 -0500 (EST)
From: RGHHORTON@delphi.com
Subject: Parker Award #2
Well the buzz has hardly left the auditorium after the Worst Album award was given out. Cher was doused with rotting refuse as she dared to mention 'Another Grey Area' as a nominee. Her stunning Stuart Kaufmann gown was quite soiled.
Well it looks like the second award is about to be presented. Yes it looks like....Is it Angela Lansbury?....NO! Its Anne Murray!
Anne: And the Nominees for the "I've seen the future of rock and it sucks" Award for the Worst Graham Parker song are:
Big Fat Zero-- A Jack Douglas overproduced ditty that somehow found its way onto side one of 'Another Grey Area'.
Call Me your Doctor-- A very familiar sounding song off of 'Human Soul'. Hey! Didnt he do this on three or four of his earlier albums?
Children And Dogs-- Mr. Parker waxing about home life, off of 'Struck By Lightning'. Exactly who was interested?
Heat in Harlem-- Off of 'Stick To Me'. It obviously wasnt quite that hot for the voters.
The Raid-- Also off of 'Stick To Me'. See above...
And the "winner" is......
Heat In Harlem!!!! In a close race, with its fellow album mate The Raid. Its interesting to note that 'Stick To Me' fared ok in the worst off votes, while no song off of 'Steady Nerves' made the "top" 5!
| Pos. | Song | 1 | 2 | 3 | Pts. |
| 1 | Heat In Harlem | 1 | 1 | 2 | -12 |
| 2 | The Raid | 2 | 0 | 0 | -10 |
| 3 | Big Fat Zero | 1 | 0 | 1 | -7 |
| 5t | Call Me Your Doctor | 0 | 2 | 0 | -6 |
| 5t | Children and Dogs | 0 | 2 | 0 | -6 |
| 14t | Big Man On Paper | 1 | 0 | 0 | -5 |
| 14t | Black Lincoln Cont | 1 | 0 | 0 | -5 |
| 14t | Chopsticks | 1 | 0 | 0 | -5 |
| 14t | Love is a Burning Q | 1 | 0 | 0 | -5 |
| 14t | Miracle A Minute | 1 | 0 | 0 | -5 |
| 14t | Smart Bomb | 1 | 0 | 0 | -5 |
| 14t | Stick To Me | 1 | 0 | 0 | -5 |
| 14t | Waitin for the UFO's | 1 | 0 | 0 | -5 |
| 14t | When You Do That To | 1 | 0 | 0 | -5 |
| 15 | I'm Gonna Tear Your | 0 | 0 | 2 | -4 |
| 22t | Another Grey Area | 0 | 1 | 0 | -3 |
| 22t | Everyone's hand Is | 0 | 1 | 0 | -3 |
| 22t | Green Monkeys | 0 | 1 | 0 | -3 |
| 22t | Help Me Shake It | 0 | 1 | 0 | -3 |
| 22t | Last Couple On The | 0 | 1 | 0 | -3 |
| 22t | Stupefaction | 0 | 1 | 0 | -3 |
| 22t | The Sun Is Gonna Sh | 0 | 1 | 0 | -3 |
| 28t | Break Them Down | 0 | 0 | 1 | -2 |
| 28t | The Girl Isnt Ready | 0 | 0 | 1 | -2 |
| 28t | Release Me | 0 | 0 | 1 | -2 |
| 28t | Saturday Nite Is Dead | 0 | 0 | 1 | -2 |
| 28t | Temporary Beauty | 0 | 0 | 1 | -2 |
| 28t | Too Much Time To | 0 | 0 | 1 | -2 |
I'll be back.
Rich h.