HURRICANES ARE HOWLIN' UP THE FLORIDA COAST
LEAVING THE BEACH TOWNS DEAD AS A GHOST
24 INCHES OF RAIN IN A MATTER OF DAYS
THE GOVERNOR SAYS THAT IT'S GOD'S WILL
THAT'S WHAT HE SAYS
MUDSLIDES ARE RUNNIN' DOWN THE HILL TO THE TOWN
KNOCKING THE TELEGRAPH POLES TO THE GROUND
PANIC IN PENNSYLVANIA
THAT'S WHAT THEY FEAR
BUT THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT
WE'RE PUTTING IN THE ATMOSPHERE
CHORUS–
GOOD THINGS ARE COMING IF WE STICK TO THE PLAN X2
STICK TO THE PLAN X2
KEEP YOUR FINGER ON THE TRIGGER
STICK TO THE PLAN
DON'T PAY NO ATTENTION TO WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY
TOO MUCH INTELLIGENCE GETS IN THE WAY
YEAH IT GETS IN THE WAY
YOU KNOW IT GETS IN THE WAY
AND IF YOU WANNA BE HAPPY
BE LIKE FORREST GUMP EVERYDAY
PUT ON YOUR UNIFORM AND GO TO THE FRONT
DON'T BE TOO SENSITIVE
THAT'S A STUNT YOU DON'T NEED
WHEN YOU'RE STRIPPING THEM NAKED
AND ATTACHING THE WIRES
BECAUSE IT'S ONLY A FRAT PARTY
AND ALL ARABS ARE LIARS
CHORUS
WELL GOD SAID TO THE PRESIDENT LISTEN TO ME
I WILL ADVISE YOU ON THE WAY IT'S GONNA BE
SO THE PRESIDENT GOT TO HIS KNEES
AND ACCEPTED HIS FATE
IT'S A DONE DEAL NOW IF YOU GOT
SOME OBJECTIONS TOO LATE
MEANWHILE IN THE CORNER THERE'S
A DRUNK ON A STOOL
SLURPIN' UP KETCHUP AND ACTING THE FOOL
PRETENDING TO FIGHT FOR THE TRUTH
BUT HE AIN'T GETTING FAR
BECAUSE HE'S WORKIN' FOR THE SAME TEAM
JUST FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BAR
CHORUS
BACK IN THE SCHOOLHOUSE THEY BEEN CUTTING THE CLASSES
TIME IS RUNNING BACKWARDS AND THE TEACHER WEARS GLASSES
BUT SHE ONLY SEES THE BACK OF HER HEAD
NOT WHAT'S IN FRONT OF HER EYES
SHE BROUGHT JESUS OUT OF HOCK AND
PUT MARY ON THE SIDE WITH SOME FRIES
MEANWHILE IN THE CLOSET THERE'S A FUNNY LITTLE MAN
WITH A BUNSEN BURNER AND A PEN IN HAND
WRITING HIS THEORY AND CHECKING HIS CHEMISTRY SET
BUT IT'S ONLY A THEORY SO DON'T PLACE ANY BETS YET
CHORUS
OVER IN THE MONKEY HOUSE SOMEONE GOT SILLY
PLAYING HANKY PANKY WITH A PREACHER NAMED BILLY
AND THE TV CREWS CAUGHT IT ALL FOR POSTERITY SON
BUT IT DIDN'T MAKE THE NIGHTLY NEWS
IT WAS TOO MUCH FUN
INSIDE THE AIRPORT EVERY WORKER WEARS A TURBAN
AT THE CHECK POINT THEY'RE STRIPPING A SUBURBAN
COUPLE OF ALL THEIR CLOTHES AND SMELLING THEIR FEET
BUT THEY FOUND OUT THE ODOR OF STUPIDITY ISN'T TOO SWEET
CHORUS